12 Lessons I've learned from my Mother.

As I'm reaching a time in my life where I'm engaged to be married, and having to seriously think about not being supported anymore, I'm noticing more and more how my mother snuck in little life lessons while she was raising me.

1. A hug or kiss can make anything better, no matter the boo-boo. I can't count how many times I fell down as a kid and hurt myself. In fact, I'm pretty sure from ages 5-11 I lived with perpetual scrapes on my knees. However, if I ever cried, mom would make sure I was okay, and follow it with a hug or kiss. While these didn't magically heal me, or take the pain away, it was her way of letting me know that she still loved me. To this day, when I get to see her, she gives me a hug, and it takes away any pain I had felt since the last time that I had seen her.

2. It doesn't matter what you're doing, singing a song can make it a lot more fun. Everyday I catch myself singing about something, and I always laugh because it's usually about what I'm doing. When I was little, every time we'd get into the car, my mom would sing, "Buckle up for safety, for safety, for safety, Buckle up for safety because it's the law." It would always just kind of happen, and I can't remember any other songs, but I know that there was always singing. These days, I still sing. In fact just the other night I was singing about taking my dogs out for a walk. I didn't want to leave the comfort of the living room to take them out, but somehow singing about it made it okay.

3. All those embarrassing things that she did? It was only to prepare me for future embarrassment. As a teenager, I can't think of anything more embarrassing than my mom or dad being around me. God forbid, I actually had to go somewhere with them and be seen by someone I know! However, I was always able to laugh with my parents. Being able to laugh with them, helped me know it was okay if others were laughing at me. Looking back, my mother and father should have been the embarrassed ones! When I was a teenager, I went through quite a few awkward stages...and I mean AWKWARD. Just for that, I'm sorry my parents had to witness me growing up, but I've gone through a lot more embarrassing things than being seen with my mom. There have been plenty of embarrassing things that have happened to me (giving a speech with my zipper down, falling down stairs, and stepping in dog poop in front of a whole group of peers-just to name a few...), but after each embarrassing thing, I keep my head up and laugh. I've learned that by laughing at myself, and keeping a light heart, I can get through any embarrassing moment.


4. Tough times never last; tough people do. My mom always had a sign that had this phrase on it. Whenever I was going through a tough time, she would bring it up. My favorite memory of this was when my best friend, Adrienne, was diagnosed with leukemia. As I was leaving for the hospital one day to visit Adrienne, my mom told me to give her a hug and tell her that "tough times never last, but tough people do!" While I told my friend this piece of advice, I took it to heart too. While she was in the hospital, Adrienne was so strong, and she pushed through and healed, but I had a really hard time coping with her illness. When my mom told me to tell Adrienne this little saying, she didn't even realize that she was reminding me to stay strong too. 

5. Always have a plan. Whenever the topic of drugs or sex ever came up, my mom made sure to say to always have a plan. If I ever encountered drugs, or got in a situation where there was sex, I was to have a plan. She made it very clear that I better have a plan before I get into the situation because once in the situation, I wouldn't be able to think straight. She also made sure to say that the plan can be anything from calling her, simply saying no, or accepting. Having this plan has made life so much easier. When I was first offered weed, I turned it down. To this day, I turn it down. I have my plan, and I stick to it. However, this doesn't only apply to compromising situations, but also to what seems like easy situations. There have been times that I'm just going to a dinner that might involve someone that I don't want to see, and I prepare myself for what I'm going to do in different situations. Just having this little bit of preparation helps so much in life. 


6. It's  okay to act like grandma and her. Just the other day I was out shopping for new glasses and I put on a pair of Burberry ones, looked in the mirror, and in a shocked voice, exclaimed, "I look like my mother!" A lady next to me laughed, but I looked again, and I kind of liked the glasses...guess which ones I got? That pair. I've told my mother countless times how she holds her hands just like grandma, and I'll look down and be holding my hands the exact same way. I used to get so mad- I wanted to be my own person, and be nothing like my mom or grandma, but then I realized that I'm proud to have them in me. Why? Because they are kind, caring, compassionate women. Because I have them in me, I help others and care about animals. I love to watch plants grow and I love to shoot a gun. I've got a tough Texan in me and I love to make others happy. I'm just like my mother and my grandma, but that's okay with me, because they're wonderful ladies. 


7. Family is important, but so is adventure. My mom was born and raised in a little town in the panhandle of Texas. The population was a little under a thousand people, and she graduated with 32 other students. Her entire life was in that town: her family, her friends, and even the little Dairy Queen where she worked. She left with her first husband, but ended up back in that little country town again. Some years passed, and she met my father. They fell in love, got married, and his job got transferred to Hawaii. What was a small-town country girl to do? She followed him to Hawaii. Then to Washington. Then to Kentucky. Then to Maryland. Then to Ohio. As a child, I was told that we weren't moving, but having an adventure. Looking back now, Mom was just on her adventure. She took chances, and that was passed down to me. Throughout her entire adventure, she always kept in touch with her family. I can't remember a week that went by that my papa didn't call early in the morning to talk with mom. And how many times did my aunt call in the middle of a movie, but mom still got up to answer the phone and talk to her? She stayed in touch with her family, and if it wasn't for the distance, it would be like we were all living together. Mom was able to keep her roots in that small town, but also branch out to see the world. As I go on with my life, my mom lives in Texas while I'm in Ohio, but everyday I'm on the phone with her, updating her. Now with technology, it's even easier to do this with webcams and picture messages. I would never be okay with living this far away if she hadn't taught me how to do it. 


8. Keep your house clean. So this may seem super simple, and easy to do, but when I moved in with my first serious boyfriend, I found it to be a lot harder. Without a dishwasher, we actually had to handwash all our dishes. Being two lazy people, we had to throw a lot of mold-covered dishes away. So what did I learn? When I left the guy, my next apartment had a dishwasher! My mother helped me move into this new amazing apartment (With a dishwasher) and gave me a lot of tips on how to keep it clean. I had a new puppy and she told me the most effective way to clean up its accidents. She made sure to tell me to rinse off my dishes before putting them in my new dishwasher. (Did I mention I finally had a dishwasher?) She told me to draino the shower drain often because I have long hair that gets caught in the drain, and she helped me unpack boxes and organize my entire apartment. Since she came up to help me move into my new apartment, I notice her all over it. I open my closet, and see a nice little box labeled "TOOLS :)" My bedroom closet has all my shoes organized, and my dishes all have a special place in my kitchen. If it was up to me, all my stuff would still be packed in boxes because I wouldn't have gotten around to unpacking them, but through her helping me move, I've learned that it's easier to just keep your house clean. 


9. Don't be a slut. I can't remember the situation that we were in, and I don't remember what I was wearing, but I do remember my mom looking straight at me and saying, "You're such a slut." Now, I know that she didn't mean it in a mean way, but she meant it in a do-you-know-what-people-are-going-to-think way. It took a couple of my teenage years, and growing huge boobs, but I learned that I needed to be a little more modest and cover up my puppies! It really does matter because first impressions mean a lot. 


10. Trust my intuition. This was the hardest lesson to learn, and it's something that I learned at the expense of my mother. On August 5, 2005, I got on a horse. I looked at my mother and told her that I needed off that horse and that I wasn't comfortable. I remember telling her that something bad was going to happen. However, she insisted that I stay on that horse and that I'd be fine. Well, I ended up getting kicked by another horse while I was riding that day. My leg broke, and I had a 3 day hospital stay, along with months of relearning how to walk. Like I said, this was a really hard lesson to learn, but I learned to trust my intuition. If I'm in a situation and my alarms start going off, I get out. 


11. God has a plan. This is something that my mom probably doesn't know that I've learned from her. She is such a strong woman and she's been through a lot. Her second husband died of cancer, and she's been through a couple divorces. But you know what? Through all of this, she turned to God for help. It's not much, but this is the best lesson I've ever learned from my mother: while I may not see it, God has a reason for everything that happens in my life. While it may seem trivial, I hated moving to Ohio, but looking back, I can see how God was giving me the best opportunity in so many things. For example, if we hadn't moved to Ohio, I wouldn't have been given the opportunity to graduate high school with my Associate's of Arts and Humanities and I wouldn't have my mom cheering me on through my entire high school career. 


12. There's no love like a mother's love. Every child knows this, and can tell you how much their mother loves them. Knowing how much my mother loves me and my brother makes me want to be a mother myself. I know that there's nothing she wants more than for us to be happy, and just being around her makes me the happiest I can ever be.